Read Richard III by William Shakespeare Free Online
Book Title: Richard III|
The author of the book: William Shakespeare
Edition: Palgrave Macmillan
Date of issue: September 5th 2008
ISBN: No data
ISBN 13: No data
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 480 KB
City - Country: No data
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Reader ratings: 7.5
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Richard III, abridged:
RICHARD: Mwahahaha! Mwahahahahaha! Mwahaha!
CLARENCE: Hey brother! So, I guess I'm being sent to the Tower of London. Sucks, right?
RICHARD: Don't worry, Clarence, you'll be fine. I'll try and get you out, and certainly won't hire assassins to kill you or anything.
CLARENCE: Awesome! You're the best!
ANNE: You killed my husband and my son in the last play, you asshole! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
RICHARD: I only killed your husband because you're so fucking hot.
ANNE: OMG TAKE ME RIGHT NOW.
MARGARET: YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF RICHARD! I CURSE ALL YOU FUCKERS!
EVERYONE: *ignores Margaret*
EDWARD V: The king is dead! Good thing he made you Lord Protector, Richard, so now you can make sure no one steals my throne.
RICHARD: Yeah...so you know what the best hotel in town is? The tower of London. I got you and your brother a suite.
EDWARD V: Awesome! Let's go!
RICHARD: Mwahahahahahaha! Hey everybody, those kids are bastards. I should be king instead.
EVERYONE: WOOOO! WE LOVE RICHARD!
HASTINGS: Okay, I was fine with all the usurping and mudering up until now but...seriously dude, I gotta ask: WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL?
RICHARD: I'm a hunchback. Discussion closed. Oh, and you're under arrest. Say hi to my dead nephews for me.
BUCKINGHAM: Wait, what? Dude, you have officially overdone it. I'm out.
RICHARD: Memo to self: get Buckingham killed. Mwahaha.
ELIZABETH: Okay Richard, you've now killed my two sons, my brothers, and I'm not completely sure you didn't kill my husband too. What else could you possibly do to me?
RICHARD: Well, your daughter's kinda hot. And fortunately, my wife just came down with a deadly illness - the symptoms include head/neck separation, very gross - and I've got to start making some legitimate heirs, if ya know what I mean.
ELIZABETH: Fuck you. The Earl of Richmond is gonna kill you so hard.
RICHARD: Oh shit, that's right, we're being invaded. Guess I'd better head over to Bosworth field, then.
AUDIENCE: Oh thank god, it's nearly over.
(For those of you keeping score at home, Richard's current body count is ELEVEN FUCKING PEOPLE.)
GHOSTS OF LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE PLAY: BOOGEDY BOOGEDY BOOGEDY! You're so gonna die tomorrow, Richard, because we're on the Earl of Richmond's side. In fact, we've already started calling him Henry VII. DESPAIR AND DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!
AUDIENCE: SERIOUSLY CAN HE PLEASE GET KILLED ALREADY SO I CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM?
RICHARD: All right men, first let me say thanks for sticking with me, despite the fact that all my close friends seem to mysteriously die whenever they disagree with me. Secondly: Yorkists, ready your breakfasts and eat hearty. FOR TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-aaaack! That hurt! AND WHERE THE FUCK DID MY HORSE GO?
HENRY VII: I KEEL YOU!
RICHARD: Oh, fuck. *dies*
AUDIENCE: Thank god. *sprints for the bathrooms*
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Read information about the authorWilliam Shakespeare (baptised 26 April 1564) was an English poet and playwright, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. He is often called England's national poet and the "Bard of Avon" (or simply "The Bard"). His surviving works consist of 38 plays, 154 sonnets, two long narrative poems, and several other poems. His plays have been translated into every major living language, and are performed more often than those of any other playwright.
Shakespeare was born and raised in Stratford-upon-Avon. Scholars believe that he died on his fifty-second birthday, coinciding with St George’s Day.
At the age of 18 he married Anne Hathaway, who bore him three children: Susanna, and twins Hamnet and Judith. Between 1585 and 1592 he began a successful career in London as an actor, writer, and part owner of the playing company the Lord Chamberlain's Men, later known as the King's Men. He appears to have retired to Stratford around 1613, where he died three years later. Few records of Shakespeare's private life survive, and there has been considerable speculation about such matters as his sexuality, religious beliefs, and whether the works attributed to him were written by others.
Shakespeare produced most of his known work between 1590 and 1613. His early plays were mainly comedies and histories, genres he raised to the peak of sophistication and artistry by the end of the sixteenth century. Next he wrote mainly tragedies until about 1608, including Hamlet, King Lear, and Macbeth, considered some of the finest examples in the English language. In his last phase, he wrote tragicomedies, also known as romances, and collaborated with other playwrights. Many of his plays were published in editions of varying quality and accuracy during his lifetime, and in 1623, two of his former theatrical colleagues published the First Folio, a collected edition of his dramatic works that included all but two of the plays now recognised as Shakespeare's.
Shakespeare was a respected poet and playwright in his own day, but his reputation did not rise to its present heights until the nineteenth century. The Romantics, in particular, acclaimed Shakespeare's genius, and the Victorians hero-worshipped Shakespeare with a reverence that George Bernard Shaw called "bardolatry". In the twentieth century, his work was repeatedly adopted and rediscovered by new movements in scholarship and performance. His plays remain highly popular today and are consistently performed and reinterpreted in diverse cultural and political contexts throughout the world.
According to historians, Shakespeare wrote 37 plays and 154 sonnets throughout the span of his life. Shakespeare's writing average was 1.5 plays a year since he first started writing in 1589. There have been plays and sonnets attributed to Shakespeare that were not authentically written by the great master of language and literature.
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